Hiya.

Can I just say...

thank you so very much for your comments on my last post

I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate them

You are wise, compassionate and practical!

Much of what you've suggested has already been done...or is in the process of being done

but not everything, so your comments were really useful

But more than that, it's nice to know I'm not alone in this, and many of you understand exactly what the situation entails...

have dealt with or are struggling with the same issues.

It makes it easier somehow.

So a million thank yous. Really, truly... 

1 Feb: pinch and a punch and all that too J

images seen on: the aestate tumblr; a room for everyone; home and interiors tumblr; loving living small; my favourite and my best; not my beautiful home tumblr; room and service; the marion house book; stil inspiration; style files

I went to Newcastle on Friday to take my mum to her first appointment with the geriatrician. Some of you may know that dad has been diagnosed with dementia (in the mild category thankfully, at least so far) and my sister and I have had some concerns about our mum, especially since her surgery.

The good news is that mum only has “mild cognitive impairment” on the clinical dementia rating scale but there is a 50/50 chance of ‘crossing the line’ and joining dad within the next 12 months. Worrying, and she will be closely monitored by her doctor, but let’s take the glass half full view at this stage and hope for the best J

I suspect that in the next few years I am going to learn a lot about dementia. In a delightfully ironic twist, I have been doing some strategic planning work with people involved in dementia training for the health profession, so I have access to a mountain of information when I need it! 

Parents get old (if we’re lucky) and time and age can dull their senses and lessen their mobility. That’s normal. I am beginning to see firsthand that old truism about the parent becoming the child, and vice versa. This doesn’t bother me. In many ways I see it as an opportunity to repay my parents, to look after them as they’ve looked after me. As best I can at least. For the problem is this: I left home at 17 and I’ve never lived in my home town since. I've never lived closer than I do now. My holidays haven’t been spent in Newcastle, or rarely, so extended periods of time with my parents have been few and far between. Filling out the questionnaire at the doctor’s surgery was difficult. The checklist about changes noticed over the last 10 years was much easier to answer than what’s the last week been like? The simple answer is I’m not sure. There is only so much that a phone call or reports from neighbours and family who live closer can tell you about what’s really happening. And with a five hour road trip each way, weekly visits are simply not possible...not without me ‘running on empty’ (which was playing on the CD as I made the last trip!)  My sister lives in Perth, much, much further away than Canberra. We are faced with the ‘tyranny of distance’ in a very big way.

We have done what we can to put all the possible services in place to assist. The geriatrician knows where to find me and I'll be copied in to all correspondence. Power of attorney and enduring guardianship papers are being filled in. They are still very capable of looking after themselves at home (mum especially) but this will obviously get worse over time.

Does anyone have any experience with looking after parents who don’t live close by? Can you give me some tips, some strategies to make it seem a little more manageable? I’m open to suggestions!  And surprise, surprise...no, they won’t move!

p.s. they'll turn 83 and 88 in a few months...they look good for their age don't they!

Last week I told you that I'd show you my Christmas decorating...be warned, I use the term very loosely J I also said, if I remember correctly that you should be prepared to be underwhelmed. I'm not going to be at home for Christmas this year. Jess, Ben and I will be having a Christmas Eve dinner at Jess's home in Sydney and then we'll be making the road trip to and from Newcastle on Christmas Day to have lunch with my mum and dad and our rather odd, extended family! I say that lovingly J

Because of that, I haven't done much in the way of decoration in the townhouse, which is a pity. I've got an awesome black tree that looks fab with silver and pearls flung in, over and around it...but never mind. 

So this is it I'm afraid...a $4.98 string of plastic hearts (from Big W) draped over an embroidered velvet taj mahal cushion cover I bought in India...framed after I spilled something on it and it lost its appeal on the sofa...I do love it and its memories though...even if due to this wonderful gift it's no longer hanging there...things move quickly in the townhouse!

 

...last year's frou frou feather boa wreath with the addition of a $2 string of white lights (last of the big spenders I am!)...

and cherries...because nothing in my view says Christmas in Australia more than cherries. I do hope your hols are the proverbial bowl of them.

While it may not be Christmassy in the strictest sense of the word...this is probably good advice for this time of year. The 2011 birthday present from the first born...it makes me smile every time I come home.

And it's hardly Christmas without the slayer now is it?  With lots of love from me and mine to you and yours....see you sometime after the face stuffing and afternoon napping has ceased. Not that it ever does where that cat's concerned! And as I'm on leave at the end of today, I may just do a bit of that myself!

And most importantly...to those of you who are going through a hard time, who are unwell, who've lost people you love this year, who don't know what to do about something or someone, who are struggling...blessings to you xx

all photos by a tranquil townhouse

Last week the 23 year old and around 70 of his classmates held their graduating class exhibition at the University of Canberra. To say that I'm more than a little bit proud is putting it mildlyJ

This lovely young man of mine has worked really, really hard to get to where he now finds himself...with a Bachelor of Graphic Design degree that will be conferred next March. Distinction average thank you very much!  I can't wait to see him in a cap and gown...the last time would have been at his christening. Actually no, he wore a little white romper suit to that. Sorry Ben!

I am of course hugely biased, but I think his work is wonderful...

I'm getting this one for Christmas!

Though I'm not a mummy blogger (whatever that is I'm pretty sure it involves having kids much younger than mine!) I am a mum, and if I can't occasionally use my blog to brag about my offspring, then quite honestly it's not worth having as far as I'm concerned!

Ben is talented, clever, kind, handsome, loving...and he is tenacious. He's persevered through some really tough times to achieve this...and it is, indeed, a wonderful achievement. Bursting with admiration for you my fabulous boy xxx

He's looking for a job if you know of anyone who wants to hire a graphic designer with a great attitude J

p.s. the colour scheme of the exhibition was black, white and yellow. I accidentally dressed to match, as you do J
 images 1,2,7 by me; all designs by 88 design

I'm sorry I've been so remiss 

I should have let you know that mum's operation appears to have been successful...thank you to everyone who's asked.

We'll know more when the surgeon reviews at the six week point, but the pain appears to be significantly reduced, so that's good.

A bit more worrying is the memory loss. 

Confusion after the operation was to be expected of course,

the hallucinations were mildly amusing...not nasty or scary, and we can laugh about them now :)

the nurses put on a christmas pantomine in the ward at 1am, apparently!

The confusion seems to be continuing unfortunately...

not to the extent of singing and dancing nurses thank goodness... 

and you can be forgiven for forgetting a lot when you're 82 of course... 

 but my sister and I are a bit worried. And it's a bugger when we both live so far away. One day at a time I guess.

there you go though...a bonus picture for putting up with my grumbling :)

images seen on: a punch of color; bohemian shoebox; brydie brown; creamy life; desire to inspire; the diversion project; gild and grace; lona de anna; mix and chic; scrapbook; spicer and bank

Hi there. Today's the day I'm off to Newcastle again

the weather's not all that great for a road trip

...but tomorrow's really the day

...for mum's operation, rescheduled for the third time

I'm sure we'll be right this time though : )

And...

hopefully I'll be able to grab a coffee with this lovely lady while I'm in Newcastle...

I love meeting blogsters for real!

Thanks for all the well wishes for mum.

They mean a lot.

See you later.

this week's images seen on: wish you were here; scrapbook; a life's design; apartment therapy; the design files; color me carla; effortless style; gild and grace; pia jane bijkerk; white trash beautiful